Six Months of Mabel

Even as I type that title I can't believe it's true.

Five months came and went without a blog update. Sorry about that, wedding season and summer in general has us pretty busy. Not to mention a little bean rapidly becoming a big bean and jumping into (and onto) everything!

So much has happened in the last two months. I am struggling to wrap my head around it, but I'll do my best.

DEVELOPMENT: 5 Months Vs. 6 Months

Last month Mabel started trying to roll over. It was adorable. She would throw her body to the side and get stuck on her legs or with one arm underneath her. She would eventually roll back or get frustrated. So we'd help her out and she would do some tummy time until she got fussy with that. Watching her actively try something new and work toward something was mind blowing. It wasn't just a coincidence. She was learning. She was trying, failing, rarely succeeding... her physical actions had a purpose and you could see them slowly getting better.

Until they got better... then boom... pop... pow... gangbusters. Girl is a rolling over master. She got it once and then struggled. Twice. Struggled. Still didn't love being on her belly. Three times. Still had a limited shelf life. Four. Five. Six... I don't know when it happened, but the girl just doesn't care anymore. If she wants something, she'll roll to it. She'll army crawl on her belly, roll two or three times to get what she wants. She's a determined little girl.

Sitting up is another accomplishment we're really proud of. I can't remember when it happened, but she started to like sitting up and playing with her toys in front of her. At first, obviously, we had to watch her closely and hold onto her to keep her from falling down. Then a pillow would do it. Then it didn't matter at all, the girl's a pro.

Pictured: Sitting tall and pretty

Her attention to detail, things, people, and especially the dog are new and exciting. Nothing seems like an accident anymore. She watches people or things and knows where they are and when they're coming back. She gets excited when I get home and nothing is funnier than her momma. Jenna can make her crack up just by looking at her and we finally found the tricks to keeping her from freaking out after bath time (still loves nakie time, bath time with daddy, and eating... always with the eating. More on that later). 

The only thing she hasn't embraced were her old sleep habits. We knew we were lucky when she was sleeping through the night after a month. At some point the sleep luck wore out and she started waking up once or twice. Then two or three times. Sometimes more. Her rolling has definitely effected her sleep, as well as her curiosity. She is so into watching everything that it's harder to feed her during the day, so maybe she's hungry in the middle of the night? I don't know, you gotta keep that low center of gravity in check, how else is she going to be break dancing by 10 months?

MILESTONES

I wish I had a better sense of time or had the dates tattooed to my arms, because Mabel's milestones seem to be sprinting toward us lately. Besides the rolling over and the sitting up, she has also started eating food. We tried to start with sweet potato and banana, but they were a little too flavorful. She did much better with rice cereal and even seemed to enjoy it. Mixing fruit with the rice cereal, with the help of the baby food grinder (thanks Grandma Carol) is a revolution. Who wouldn't love peach rice cereal?

As her aunt Melissa said, steak is right around the corner. Little Bean got her first tooth! Teeth now, Jenna just told me the second bottom tooth just poked through. She wasn't all that fussy through her first teething experience except for one day. She started doing a new face where she sucks in her bottom lip. It was obviously adorable, but it was not easy to see her so uncomfortable. I'm really looking forward to her little toothy grin, I can't wait actually!

Pictured: New cute face

It's not really a milestone, but she also has a new scrunched up face she does when she is really happy. It looks like she is sniffing something, so whenever she does it we inevitably copy her and start smelling her. Parenting is weird.

Pictured: Workin' the sniffer

She's also finding her voice. It so happens to be the voice of a lion or a twenty-year smoker, but it's hilariously gorgeous to hear her roar. When she gets chatty she gives it all she has and I swear she's actually said the words A-Goo and Dad on purpose (not dad, that's a lie). I'd have to say the voice comes out most often while she is bouncing. It took a little getting used to, but the Bean is a bouncing machine! We have a Jolly Jumper/Johnny Jump up that is guaranteed to put a smile on her face. It started off as swaying around with a bounce here or there and has evolved to constant bouncing for 20-30 minutes at a time. It's exhausting to watch, but she just doesn't get sick of it. It has also gotten her closer to Daisy. She reaches out for her and somehow the dog doesn't run away terrified. Even while you're holding her she lifts her legs up and kicks off to try to get you to bounce or throw her. Who needs a kettle bell or gym membership when you have an almost 18 pound baby?

Pictured: What does a lion say?

Mabel also proved how much of a champ she is by doing an amazing job on her first extensive road trip. We were terrified of the 4+ hour drive into Pennsylvania for her Great Grandmother's 80th birthday party, but we had nothing to be scared about. It was a great trip and we all got to see a ton of people who met Mabel for the first time. She got some great naps in on the van ride and everyone agrees that she's the best thing I've ever been a part of... mostly me.

Pictured: Family at GG Chew's 80th birthday. New Wilmington, PA

REFLECTIONS

It honestly seems like she was just born. Jenna was pregnant yesterday and we started using cloth diapers this morning. She laughed for the first time this afternoon. By bedtime she's going to be married with kids and it is terrifying.

The constant love and joy we get from this relationship is remarkable. Even after the worst nights or the napless days or the Pukey McPukerson moments, there is always a smile and always just pure love. They do grow up so fast. They do change before your eyes. You will not know where the time has gone. You will cherish every second of it.

Whenever you read this, little Bean, I just hope you can tell how proud we are to be your parents. I hope you can see how much the world loves you and how much love is in the world. Sometimes you'll have to search for it and read between the lines, but you never have to go further than your parents, your grand parents, your real aunts and uncles, your pretend aunts and uncles and all of the amazing people in your life to find someone willing to share their love. That's the world I want you to live in and hopefully that's the world we're creating for you. I love you so much. We all do.

On Breastmilk Donation

Mabel,

One day you'll read this and it'll start a conversation about how when you were a baby, you drank human milk from me and it gave you the most luscious cheeks, plentiful arm rolls and adorable leg dimples. Then I'll tell you all about how the very same milk that helped you grow also helped nourish other babies around the United States.  Here's a little testimonial I wrote about my experience with milk donation, The National Milk Bank and Prolacta Bioscience.

"It’s an amazing and empowering experience to provide nutrients for your child and I feel incredibly fortunate that my body is able to supply my daughter with all of the nourishment her growing body needs. While pregnant, I extensively researched breastfeeding and all of its irreplaceable benefits.  I knew that I wholeheartedly wanted to breastfeed, but also knew that many complications can surface that may hinder a mother’s ability to exclusively nurse her baby.  After giving birth to my daughter and beginning our nursing relationship, it was quickly apparent that I was producing much more milk than my daughter would ever need or want. Knowing the incredible benefits of breast milk, I researched milk banks in hopes that my extra milk could be put to good use.  I was impressed with The National Milk Bank’s mission to provide precious human milk to micro-preemies and was in awe of the technology used by their affiliate Prolacta Bioscience that would allow my milk to be pasteurized, fortified and distributed to hospitals.  I immediately contacted them in hopes of starting the application process.  Qualifying to become a donor is a multi-step and thorough process and the level of detail that goes into donor screening should be comforting to any parent of a child using donated human milk. The team at the National Milk Bank works hard to ensure the process is smooth for donors and that only milk of the highest quality is accepted. I am so happy to be part of the National Milk Bank family and am honored to be helping babies across the nation through breast milk donation. I look forward to the day that I can tell my daughter that she shared her nourishment and helped save tiny lives!"

Thanks for being such a great sharer already, Mabel. Mama loves you so much!

 

Four months of... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!

Dear Mabel

I’m a little bit late with your four month blog, but I’ve taken this opportunity to switch it up a little bit. Your mom’s birthday is coming up, it’ll be today by the time I post this, so I thought I’d tell you a little bit about your mom so you are ready for when you get bigger and want to brag to your friends.

We live in a lucky place in a crazy world and a lot of little boys and girls think they’re the luckiest of the bunch. I’d like to take a few minutes, in honor of your Momma’s birthday, to tell you why you’re the luckiest little girl in the world.

We’ll start with some retrospectives and move on from there.

You’ve really grown up in the last month. You rolled over for the first time and you really want to do it again, you’re not quite there and we still blame the big diapers. You’re chatty as can be, too. We have the most productive conversations of coos and goos and rahrahrahs I can imagine anyone ever having. Thanks to your momma, you are well on your way to being the smartest little bean in the world. She spends all day and all night every day of the week thinking of one thing above all else: You.

You’re a great sleeper, but not the best napper at this point. You do this crazy kick thing where you lift your legs above your head and slam them down. It’s a good cross between hilarious and terrifying. You can thank your mom for this too. (The sleeping, not the leg raises.) Not a day goes by where your mom doesn’t examine the days and weeks before and think of new ways to keep your schedule manageable, to help you get through the day, to put another smile on your face.

Let’s talk about that smile! Oh lord that smile.

Pictured: The inevitable destruction of 1000 hearts

Throughout your life you’ll learn that outer beauty isn’t the most important thing and really it doesn’t matter at all if you are a good person with a good heart. It’s all very true and if nothing else, your mom and I want you to be that person with that open, loving, giving heart. But that smile. This world is a funny place and that smile will open up a lot of doors for you... or have them opened by nice people. (Fathers Note: If a guy doesn’t open a door for you, even in middle school, he’s not worth the price of his stupid t-shirt he’s probably wearing) That bright face, wide wondrous eyes and that smile are your moms and they are beautiful. You’ll have a lot of opportunity to use that smile, it’s one of the first things that made me fall in love with your mom. So remember to be nice, people will do a lot for a pretty smile, so we’ll try to teach you to use it for good instead of evil : )

One of my favorite things about your mom is a direct testament to you, little bean. She and I have been together for quite a while at this point and we have each grown and changed and matured through our relationship with each other. I have to say though, even as a spritely 20 year old, I’ve never seen your momma have as much energy as when she sees you. Even after a long day when you didn’t nap, your friend Desmond decides he doesn’t like playing outside anymore, and your daddy did or said something stupid, all it takes is your bright and shining face to liven your mom right up.

I’ve adored your mom since the beginning, but after going through the experience of bringing you into the world I couldn’t think I could ever love her more.

I was wrong.

Pictured: Adorable parenting

Every single day you get a little bigger. You get a little smarter. You, somehow, get happier and more loving. I am gone most of the day at work and sometimes I don’t get to see you as often as I want. Your momma takes good care of me too. She sends me pictures and videos and snap chats of your laughs and giggles and smiles and sometimes of your perfect little sleeping face. I couldn’t do any of this, I don’t think I would even know an eighth of what I know about being your daddy without your momma. I see the two of you together and I love you each more and more every day.

When you are old enough to read this, take a second to hug your momma and thank her for everything she does for us. Then give her a kiss for every birthday any of us have had in between now and then. With every kiss, tell her you love her and happy birthday.

I’ll try to do the same.

Pictured: A momma who knows how to party.

Happy birthday Jenna Lyn Chew! Your baby girl and I love you so much that I am currently a little teary eyed. Proud of it love. So proud of you.

Happiest happy birthday!!!

Three Months of Mabel

Writing these blogs is getting harder and harder.

I just reread Jenna's last post recalling two months of Mabel and it seriously seems like yesterday. I've been thinking about this post and how much she has changed and grown and "matured". So much that I didn't know what I would write until I looked back at last month and had a little inspiration from some pictures Aunt Danielle sent over and Jenna made into a pic-stitch

(I think that's what it is called, I'm not good with that sort of thing... the second Snap Chat I received was a video of a grown man shaking his butt (quite professionally I might add, great butt Rob), so maybe I should just leave my tech savvy-ness to the blogs and my new found love of Twitter).

Back to the important stuff. When you last read Jenna told you about how well Mabel was growing, how she had just started sleeping through the night and how lucky we felt, as parents, to have such a calm, agreeable and pleasant little baby. Thankfully all of that is still true, but after seeing the pictures Danielle sent I realize how much the last month has amplified everything.

Pictured: Itty Bitty Beans first moments with the world.

She was so tiny.
She needed us for everything.

In the last month she has become so independent and (I know this sounds ridiculous) smart and strong and funny.

I'm teetering on "Stop Dad, shut the hell up, it's just a baby" territory, so let me explain:

Independence

In the photographs above you see a very small child. That small child needed constant care. In the first month particularly and even up to the last blog post. At that point sleeping a combined total of ten hours between the two of us was a miracle.

Nowadays there are very obvious times when Mabel has opinions. Daddy tickling her or laughing at her makes her grumpy, but mommy doing the same thing makes her giggle. If she doesn't like how she's positioned on the couch, god dammit you're going to know about it! We are able to set her down in one of her play areas and she just goes to it! She doesn't need us to have all the fun in the world. This is actually sorta sad to think about too deeply, which is why my policy is never to think about anything, ever. This brings me to,

Smart

The girl is brilliant. In the last two weeks she has really started to love her play mat. Before that it was her vibrating chair with the dangly things. She just liked being in them and staring at the owl or the turtle or the lamb or the doggy. In what seemed like a blink of they eye she went from staring with potential random arm swaying to purposeful grabbing, holding, shaking, rocking and giggling.

She isn't only cooing adorably anymore, she goes back and forth with you when you make noises with her. It's the baby way of talking, but she's still talking. She'll look right into your eyes as you match her grunt for grunt or hum for hum. The other day Jenna was blowing bubbles with her gum and Mabel started blowing bubbles with her spit. The other day I was ignoring her and watching tv. I looked over, she was ignoring me and watching tv. What?! Seriously! Brilliant!

She has always been happy and smiley, but she seems to be understanding situations now as well. We have stuck with our bedtime routine, always slightly altering it as we go (Jenna still reads so much and is constantly looking for ways to make Mabel's life easier and better... it's astounding). We're learning not to worry and to embrace flexibility. Give each other time and space as we need it and include Mabel in those plans. She gets it. Bedtimes are easier, mornings and baths with daddy are easier, she is still an amazing eater, but she even knows now to slow down and give her momma a break.

These things might seem like be complete coincidences and, even if the majority of them are, they are the sign of an ever expanding cognization of the world around her. Her growth isn't just in her belly or cheeks or clothes size (she's rockin' out in 3-6 month attire). It's mental, it's physical, she's always been cute and adorable, of course, but as she looks less like me and more like her mom you can see how beautiful she is. It's in her bright eyes, her warm and happy smile, her long and flowing eyelashes, the way her cheeks and mouth react to what's going on around her. She's growing up and getting so...

Strong

Mabel's movements are more purposeful. I feel like a lot people say "she's so solid," which she is (in more ways than one - we know she's a chunk and we love it!). Last month I would have said, yeah, she has great neck control when I hold her up. Apparently science tells us this is very important because we do a little something called Tummy Time. Tummy Time is a magical time when you lay your baby on their stomach, preferably on a soft surface, and watch as they struggle to hold their head up and hone their neck control, back strength, and potential for push ups.

Four weeks ago, Mabel hated her some Tummy Time. She hated Tummy time as much as she loved Nakey Time, which is a significant amount (still). It would take seconds until she burrowed her smooshed up little face into the mat and miserably squirmed and fussed. Now, our girl's gots some grit! She holds her head up like a champ for tens of seconds and when she's tired she sorta just lays down like a big girl and eats her hand. Her hand must be delicious, because she eats the hell out of that thing.

Pictured: Tummy Time during, after, and complex math on her back

Funny

The last category I mentioned is definitely true, but a little bit of a misnomer. Maybe not a misnomer, but it definitely has some layers.

It is funny in the most terrifying way how much she has grown so quickly. Look at the first picture posted in her first hours and days. Then look at the picture above. That's only THREE months. She has changed so much in three months it's funny to even try to remember what it used to be like to be her parent; what she used to be like before right now. It's funny how it all blends together and how I feel like it was only yesterday, but I can't even imagine Mabel being anything other than what she is right now. It's funny that in four weeks I will re-read this post and most likely type the exact same things, but comment on how "four weeks ago I thought she had changed from the four weeks prior to that, boy was I wrong."

Then it's funny to think that is how it will be for the rest of her life. She'll always be this tiny thing that needs us more than anything. This tiny thing that looks into her momma's eyes and coos and smiles and makes her so happy. This tiny thing that will start rolling over, then crawling, then walking, then talking, then watching zombie movies, then going to kindergarten, then she will be driving and the President of the United States and then maybe dating.

And all along the way she's going to look to us for guidance. She's going to expect us to be there when she has questions or discovers new things. We get to go through this journey again through the completely innocent eyes of someone who doesn't even know what funny means. Her Bill Murray onesie is just comfortable, she has no idea how great it is. She knows she likes it when we make funny sounds, startle her, make noises with her and laugh at her, but she doesn't really know what it means. (OR DOES SHE!?!?!) Everything changes every day. She picks up on something new, learns a little bit more, does a little bit more and at least now she knows that we have a dog, her name is Daisy and she is hilarious.

Two Months of Mabel

It’s been quite some time since I made an appearance on the baby blog partially because, toward the end of pregnancy and in the first few weeks of Mabel’s life, the exhaustion didn’t allow for complete thoughts let alone complete sentences but mostly because I look forward to reading what Thomas writes about the life as the Chews know it. He makes me laugh and cry and realize and appreciate even more than I do already. That being said, I thought I’d take a stab at recapping our last month with Mabel.  Can you believe she’s already 2 months old? Neither can we!

I could make this blog entry very short and summarize with this: Whoever is in charge of dictating the ways of the universe must have been very happy with Thomas and me on the day that sperm met egg and Mabel’s temperament was decided. Maybe it’s because we are avid recyclers or perhaps it’s because Thomas helped an old woman across the street that day. Either way, the universe gave us the most even keeled, easy going, predictable (as much as a 2 month old could possibly be), amazing, full cheeked baby ever to be born. We realize that we are the luckiest new parents in the world and we haven’t, for a second, taken it for granted. I’m sure whenever we decide to make Mabel a sibling, the same universe dictator will take notice that I left the water running when I brushed my teeth or that Thomas sped on the way to work that morning and we will be granted a colicky, non-sleeper…and we will love that baby just as much as we love Mabel. Except maybe a little less because Mabel is Ah-Maze-Ing! (Sorry, non-existent future fussy baby)

So that could be the short version. But instead of leaving you with that, I’m going to give you excessive details about the 5 weeks since Thomas last posted.

We’ve learned that the go-to question asked to all new parents is, you guessed it, “How is the baby sleeping?”  Everyone wants to know. I’m not sure if it’s a primitive desire because it’s an instinctive behavior or because other parents want to compare their experiences to yours. It’s interesting.  In Mabel’s case, the answer to that question is… amazingly. In fact, she sleeps so well that she out sleeps me now. I have officially repaid the debt of sleep that I accumulated during weeks 39-41 of pregnancy and weeks 1-7 of Mabel’s life on earth. We’ve tried to be as consistent as possible in our nightly bedtime routine. Sometimes we get all pieces in, other nights she’s more tired and things get left out. We aim for something that looks like this: bath (the girl can spash!), pajamas, and storytime. Then we set the mood with high heat, low lights and a sound machine; she eats once more and dozes off to dream land in her bassinet. We’ve done some variation of this routine since the second day she was home. I can’t tell you for sure if it’s responsible for her sleeping through the night at 2 months (yep! THROUGH THE NIGHT!) but I can tell you that it certainly hasn’t hurt matters. Since she doesn’t seem to need me in the middle of the night anymore, Thomas and I (and the pediatrician) talked about it being a good time to transition her into her big girl crib. The thought of this makes me very, VERY sad but I suppose I’m going to have to start letting go little by little at some point, right? I wish she would stay my tiny baby forever but I also look forward to her one day becoming a strong independent woman. I bet Hilary Clinton didn’t sleep in her parents’ room after she was sleeping all night long. I need to let Mabel grow!

Speaking of growing, another question we get often is “How much does Mabel weigh?” Again, not sure if it’s a primal desire to know because in ancient times size was correlated to health (or wealth) or if people just have a common curiosity regarding baby sizing. Either way, Mabel is a big girl. I find this humorous for a few reasons. 1) Because Mabel had the doctors in a tizz at the end of pregnancy because she was “small”, measuring in the 20 something percentile. And we had extra monitoring because of it.  2) Because I am not a large person, in fact I am a very small person and Thomas is a very average sized person.  Mabel’s birth weight ended up being only slightly below average (6lbs, 13oz if you need a refresher since that blog entry) but her striking ability to gain weight was first noticed when she had regained the 6oz she lost in the hospital in a day and a half (doctors allow babies 2 weeks to gain this back without being worried) and she’s continued to grow at an (almost) alarming rate since then! At her 2 month appointment she weighed 12.5lbs bumping the little peanut up to the 84^th percentile. I like to take credit for making milk with superpowers but in reality it’s more likely that the cheeks she inherited from her father push her up the ranking. It seems that she’s probably inherited my gene for height though since she ranked in the 37^th here... 22 inches of pure, smooshable chub. It’s okay that she’s probably not going to be tall. Thomas and I decided that we’d rather her be a dedicated soccer player than a die-hard b-baller anyway (Mabel- if you read this, we will whole heartedly support anything you do, even if that means you’re the short chick on the basketball team).

So that’s that. Mabel is awesome. She smiles all the time. She loves being naked. She loves riding in the car (usually), taking baths, laying on the changing table and long walks on the beach. She adores her Dad and gives him huge smiles and coos when she sees him at the end of the work day. Her eye contact is unbreakable and she always wins a staring contest. She loves being sung to and read to. When you talk to her, she looks right back at you to let you know that she’s listening to your every word. She’s a trooper at getting immunizations (we decided to have her get them on a slow schedule).  She enjoys sucking and we have finally convinced her that a binky is an acceptable alternative to the real deal. She does NOT love (or even like) “tummy time” but she still has remarkable head control and no longer needs help to support it, even with the weight of those cheeks! (sorry Mabel, Mama will lay off of the cheek jokes now)

Being in the parent club is fantastic. Before we had Mabel I was sure that I already had a pretty good idea about what it would be like to be a parent because I have a fair amount of experience and education in the children department. I. WAS. WRONG. Sure, I might have already known which sippy cup is more prone to leaking or the importance of phonemic awareness in early literacy development but I had no idea that there was room in my heart for so much more love, that it was possible to cry so many tears of joy, or that it was rational to be so irrationally petrified and excited to see what the future has in store. 

Four Weeks of Mabel

So it's been four weeks with Mabel hanging out. A lot of that happens, actually, a lot of hanging out. The first week and a half at least, maybe still to some degree, there was a lot of sitting around, looking at a small child breathe and pretending she smiles on purpose or says words like "hiccup" or since she can already put her hand in her mouth (excellent hand eye coordination, obviously) she is almost definitely going to be a surgeon or professional jai alai player.

She's probably much more likely to brew or drink Jai Alai IPA... after surgery

Anyways, I thought I'd share some of the lessons we've learned or general things that have popped up or into my mind since she has been taking over the Chew house.

Making plans is a great way to completely waste your time:

Mabel, and I'm guessing babies in general, don't care about your plans at all. They're on their own schedule and you serve them unconditionally.  There are a couple ways to look at this.

1. Prepping and planning at your house beforehand is essential. It's great to have an idea of where everything is and how you're going to live your every day life. Then you need to be willing and able to completely throw all those plans out the window and do whatever else works.
2. Flexibility in general has been the key to any sort of minor success we've had. At first we were trying pre-planned bedtime routines. "We'll do bath, skin on skin, eat, then she'll be so tired she'll definitely sleep for 3 hours." "Okay, that didn't work. We'll try an hour earlier, no bath, three stories, if she sleeps for 3 hours three times in a row we can take turns staying up with her when she's not eating." "Okay, let's just hang out and see what happens." It really just doesn't work. Every night is something completely different.
3. Everyone wants to meet the baby, but that also requires plan making. It really isn't easy. You would think that dealing with an infant who eats, sleeps, and pees would be easy to plan around. You, my friend, would be wrong. We learned a couple things about having visitors. 
1. If you don't sleep the night before, and all you want is for the baby to sleep tonight, you start worrying about any distractions, including guests. We don't know if we want guests, because if she's sleeping, we don't want to disturb her.
2. Germs are terrifying. Our friends have been great and even a random small cough has stopped them from coming over, which was great because Tim ended up having Strep. So now we assume everyone has strep and you're all trying to hurt our baby... just kidding.

People react very differently to all things baby:

This one is natural. Peoples' comfort levels with new born babies varies wildly. That makes sense, but you'd be surprised where it comes from sometimes.

People who have babies are sometimes nervous around babies.
People who have never been around babies typically look like they are about to hold a live grenade or nuclear device.
The words "breast milk" can make people cringe. Not even the act of breastfeeding, but whatever it is about breasts and milk and a babies need for nutrition sometimes scares the shit out of people. I find this one a little humorous sometimes, on the basest level I get it. Where do I look? What if I see a boob? I don't know what to do!!!

It's okay, it really is. Jenna's not pulling the puppies out all over town and swingin' em around for the world to see. Mabel needs to eat. Act totally normal. The situation is... totally... normal.

Which brings me to-

Ask questions:

A lot of people seem to be scared of new born babies or new parents. We've heard a lot of assuming and seen a lot of deer in headlights looks. Our friend Brian is probably best at this, he asks questions about everything. EVERYTHING! It's been great actually. We love sharing this experience. We've written thousands of words about it, we're not shy individuals. If you're wondering, ask us. If it's too private or we're not comfortable sharing, we'll let you know and it's not a big deal, but in general, we're new at this too! We're learning so much every day. Jenna reads baby blogs and websites constantly and teaches me something new and awesome every day.

It's like when I read a new article online or in a magazine and it's so interesting that I want to tell people right away (like it's an original story or something that no one else could have read... did you know DC wanted Ben Affleck to direct and star as Batman in the potential Justice League movie?!?!)

And if you haven't come over to see Mabel yet, or if we've talked about it and it just hasn't happened, keep asking. I'm really sorry, to be honest. Since I've gone back to work, which sucked by the way, I get home and I just want to spend time with the baby and give Jenna a little break. I think we've only had one visitor in the two weeks I've been back to work and that is totally my fault. Selfish dad... not ashamed. We want you to meet Mabel, we want you to love her as much as we do... we're pretty sure you will seeing as she's perfect and all.

Convenient Transition-

A little something about love:

I'm a decent writer. I get a kick out of it. I tend to write exactly how I talk and how I think, often more eloquently since sometimes I think too fast and end up just blabbering away (oh shit, I do that when I write too... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!)

Anyways... I started writing four or five different times yesterday. I wanted to write something sincere and straight forward about how much our lives have changed. How much better they are since Mabel has been a part of them. How much love and joy we've felt. It hasn't all been roses and butterflies between Jenna and I or between our own personal neuroses and insecurities, but when it comes to Mabel herself, there aren't words to describe how intoxicating, hypnotic, and joyous she is. After the worst nights of not sleeping, arguing with each other over the dumbest things, and feeling like absolute trash all it takes is one look or one little baby breath or sigh or sleeping giggle and it's like nothing ever happened.

Time doesn't exist when you're in love like this. At its best it feels like it is standing still. When she catches your eye and just stares through you, your heart stops beating and you never want that moment to end. At its worst four weeks have gone by in a blink leaving elation and utter happiness in its wake. I feel like an addict, telling myself every day is a new beginning. I take it one step at a time, knowing the lessons I've learned from the days gone by and knowing above all that I don't know anything at all. It's terrifying. It grips my heart and rips apart my insides to even imagine my life without that love. This unconditional, evolving, growing, educational love that has brought me to tears and makes me smile differently than I've ever smiled before. It makes me thank Jenna every day for bringing her into our lives and when I see how she looks at our little bean, I fall in love with her too. Every single day. I wanted to type that it was just like the first time I fell in love with her, but it's so much more than that and so much better. I have the deepest appreciation and sincerest sense of awe for who she is, what we have done together, and how much we need each other.

I've written a lot about friends and family and how great the world we've made for ourselves is. Four weeks ago I didn't know what love was. I had no idea how to live my life until right now. I'm so insignificant to the grand scheme, but right now, at this point in time I'm truly needed. I have this opportunity to shape a life and I plan on seizing it. And I never plan on stopping until Mabel is safer, happier, smarter, kinder, gentler, more confident, and better than I've ever wanted to be in every way I've ever imagined. A lot of things about being a new parent are scary, but that's not one of them. It might seem like a tall order, but it isn't, that is the only thing I've been absolutely sure of since she has joined us... my job will never be done and that job is making her world a little better than it was the day before. I know it's easy, because she can't even roll over and she does it for me every single day.

She's Here!!! A Prologue... probably a long one

Since we started this blog I knew the story of Mabel joining us would be part of the story. I've been looking forward to it in fact. Throughout the pregnancy I've debated, should I go funny? Sincere? Sweet? All the gritty details?

They say you never really know what it's like being a parent until you are one. Ridiculous, I thought, many of my friends are idiots who have needed taking care of most of their lives. I was that guy. I come from a big family, I've been around babies my whole life, I can do this. I have a dog. I have plants. My car's oil is routinely changed, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I hope you can see that at this point in my life, three days after baby Mabel Jayne Chew lit the match that blew up my world (and my mind), I have an appreciation for some of the things "they" say.

The first indication that we weren't quite sure what was coming our way was Wednesday afternoon. I was begrudgingly still going to work every day (like a chump), which was not fun at all. It killed me to be 40 minutes away when Jenna could go into labor at any second. It killed my co-workers as well. I could hear them as they walked down the hall that last week in a half. The hope:"Is his door open? I hope he's not here." The disappointment: "He's still here. Ahhh man!" People not wanting me around has never made me feel so loved.

Jenna had been having contractions for weeks. They came. They were gone. They became more frequent, increasingly painful, and at points very time-able. The text Wednesday afternoon around 3 had me in the car and on my way to Jenna, who was surely having the baby that night!

The next couple hours were a frenzy of phone calls to the doctors office, installing contraction timer apps, and anxiously awaiting what was next. The books, the apps, the birthing class and even the doctor said when contractions were timeable at 5 minutes for an hour it was time, so we were on our way!

Jenna was in pain. The pain was getting worse and the contractions were slowly getting closer together. When the woman checking us in asked Jenna if there were a million dollars in dimes on the ground right now, would she still be able to pick them up we should have known something was up. The answer was no, but our contractions were five minutes apart and it had been, like, an hour and a half at this point. This baby was on its way!

They were very nice to humor us. A couple of examinations (Jenna had been 3.5 cm dilated for a few days at that point) showed we hadn't progressed that much beyond where we had been the day before. Jenna rated her pain, on the ridiculously ridiculous scale of 0 being no pain to 10 being surgery without anesthesia (who could possibly know that?) at a 5 or a 6. They sent us walking the floor for an hour to see if anything progressed further. An hour later it really hadn't that much. Jenna's contractions still hurt pretty damn bad, they were 3-4 minutes apart at this point so we thought for sure this baby was on its way.

Two Tylenol PM and a car ride home later, we were instructed to get a good nights sleep and check back in in 24 hours. The contractions persisted, but the medicine did its job. We slept on the couch with Daisy that night, sure it would be just a nap before we had to go back. "We would know" when they were different and when to come back. They assured us she was fine, the baby was fine, and she was on her way, but at her own pace.

The morning came and my back still hasn't forgiven me. The one good thing is the contractions had changed and the 6 from Wednesday evening was a joke compared to the 6 of Thursday morning. We didn't want to be sent home again, so we hung out at home. Jenna swayed on the exercise ball and breathed through contractions for a couple hours. I had a piece of peanut butter toast and Jenna had some juice and half a piece of dry toast. The future regrets were already mounting up. We were back in triage by 10:15am.

The three extensive and painful contractions Jenna experienced while checking in got us right back to a bed in triage. At around 11am contractions were 3 minutes apart, significantly more painful, and Jenna was still 3.5 cm. Pushing 4 though!! They still considered this early labor and I started to feel like they were going to ship us back home once again.

Mabel started moving a lot and we quipped that maybe one of her movements would break Jenna's water and get the show on the road. That was just about when the monitor started beeping and our nurse, Ann, a trucker mouthed saint of a woman, and a couple of residents rushed in. Mabel's heart rate had dropped so they needed to do another exam. Oh god.

Boom! or Splash!!! Splash is more accurate.

We should have bought a lottery ticket, because there it was. Jenna's water broke and they were stuck with us! We merrily skipped to room 308, ready to get this done, let's have a baby! (I remember the skipping, but I seem to be the only one). I think it was around noon.

I warned you this was going to be long. Allow me to "push" through the next five hours. Get it... push through the next five hours. "Labor" with me here, my humor might not "dilate" your eyes, but it should at least give you something to... hmmm... contract. (I ran out of birthing puns)

I mentioned Ann. Those five hours were spent with contractions 2-3 minutes apart varying in severity. Ann taught us a lot. Jenna liked her, she was very supportive, but in retrospect I give her a large majority of the credit for getting me through the experience. She gave me a lot of confidence. She didn't worry. She was extremely protective of Jenna as well as our labor plan, and she offered both advice, support, and got us all the lemon ice and orange Jell-O I could feed Jenna. She also made a mean fruit punch.

We were in a rhythm. It was getting physically more demanding, but Jenna was rock solid. She wasn't opposed to drugs or an epidural, she had just decided to try as long as she could without and if she needed them, then she would get them. From the exercise ball, to sway dancing together, to holding onto the bed, each contraction came and went, but we hadn't made much more progress. After her water broke, we jumped from 3.5 to 6 cm and at 5pm Jenna was 100% effaced.

Up to then, the doctors wanted to keep Jenna on monitors and confined to the 8 feet her cords stretched due to some high blood pressure issues she had throughout pregnancy. Though, another thing I didn't understand was they always talked about it like it was an issue, but as soon as they put her on meds she consistently had text book perfect blood pressure... anywho.

Garret, the resident from Wednesday night, was back as the shift change approached. He won Ann's respect by suggesting we get off the monitors and get Jenna in the jacuzzi. Yes! That had been one of our goals the entire time. Nightly baths had kept Jenna calm and cool for most of the third trimester. The water was running and the jacuzzi portion of the tub was broken, but it was a welcome change and a relief.

It was 7pm at this point and Ann said we were in good hands. She had picked Laura out to replace her, because she thought she would be a good match. It's amazing how close you get to someone when they are helping you through an intense situation. I didn't think there was any way Laura could come close to being as helpful as Ann. I'm very proud to say I was wrong.

The bath was relaxing, but the contractions started to increase both in intensity and pain. Our rhythm wasn't exactly working anymore and Jenna was in a whole new level of pain. I'd say Wednesday's 6 was a weak 4... max. Around 8:15pm our doctor, Dr. Morningstar (whom we hadn't really met, but has a badass name and seemed very pleasant) came in to do a check herself. Still 6cm and 100%. She also found another pocket of waters she was going to break and see if we could get things moving.

Breaking the rest of the bag of water did a couple things.

1. It revealed meconium (Mabel had pooped in utero) which can be dangerous if inhaled or swallowed (high concentrations of ammonia). At the very least the Pediatric Special Care Unit would be present for the birth, potentially having to whisk her away.
2. It made (at least led to) an already painful beginning to hurt like a mother. Jenna made her best decision since marrying me. Epidural me!

The contractions were intense, but Laura, our new nurse, was quickly becoming a good friend. She was positive, bright, shiny, sarcastic, and joked her way through incredibly succinct and "user friendly" explanations. She had an excellently witty repertoire with the Anesthesiologist and our luck briefly started to change. Jenna's contractions were on a steady wave pattern at this point, coming between 45 seconds and 2 minutes apart. She endured two monsters while the epidural was being administered. (this wasn't the lucky part)

In explaining what the epidural would do and feel like the doctor said it would take away most pain and still feel like uncomfortable pressure. Either Jenna or Laura compared it to Braxton-Hicks contractions... if you're still reading this beast you probably know what those are. If you are still reading and do not, you must be one of our very best friends or family members and we love you back, so much! About 2% of the time, he said, the epidural worked overtime and the patient wouldn't feel a thing. That's where the luck came in. By 9pm the epidural was in and Jenna was chillin. No pain, feeling relaxed, feeling like a million bucks.

Luckier still was the relief provided by the epidural also got things moving again. Jenna was 7.5 cm dilated and moving along like gangbusters. Everyone told us how great of a job they were doing. Basically the entire hospital staff told us how impressive Jenna was and how great she was doing.
By around 11:15pm Jenna was fully dilated and they started making arrangements. There was no rush. Since she had the epidural and couldn't feel the pressure or contractions, her body was doing some great work for her. They call this laboring down. It's basically just waiting to push even after you're ready to go to make it that much easier when it comes to pushing time.

Jenna's great grandmother's name was Jayne (where we got Mabel's middle name) and her birthday was January 10th, so we were hopeful that they would share birthdays. Laura and Garret thought there was a chance, but the time came and went. Jenna started feeling the pressure from the really big contractions and we started talking about what pushing would be like with the epidural. Laura talked about practice pushes and getting a hang of it before we really got into it. Not necessary. Jenna started pushing around 12:45am and her first push was identical to her last.

So this is the part I was scared of. I didn't have time to be too scared of anything else. But this was the moment of truth. I wasn't planning on watching. I was worried it would freak me out or I'd be the guy who passed out or that aliens would break in and I would be too busy defending the room to helpfully contribute. To be honest in that situation I didn't know what I was scared of, but I was definitely scared. Looking back I was terrified the entire day... more on that a little later. But when we started, like really started, there was no looking back. I averted my eyes until they mentioned hair. I had no idea what I was looking at until more and more of Mabel's head could be seen and Laura was curling her long filthy hair around her fingers.

There she was... just a few inches of her, but there she was! Slowly but surely, which should have been our motto for the day, she was getting closer and closer. Dr. Morningstar sauntered in with the Special Care unit close behind her. She smiled, said hello and went to work. At 1:32am on January 11, 2013 Mabel followed her abundant, long curly hair into the world.

There was no cutting the cord. There was not dirty baby right to mommas chest and there was no ceremony. Instead we were honored with a stunning display of care and precision. Dr. Morningstar and Garret went to work making sure Jenna was okay, hands moving like lightning. Pure concentration in their faces. A bomb could have gone off and they wouldn't have flinched. Laura was on make sure Jenna and I are okay duty. Killed it. And the Special Care Unit had Mabel. She was making some noise, but nothing significant. They were furiously clearing her chest, throat and eventually stomach. They washed her up and she was wide awake and beautiful when I was told I could go take pictures and say hello.

I'm not sure I can explain how something can be both heart breaking and breath taking and perfect all rolled up. "They" say it changes you and you'll never be the same, but "they" don't know what the hell they're talking about. It's so much more than that. It's the prettiest bus in the world nailing you at 60, but instead of liquifying you from the inside out, it liquifies you from the outside in. I was, I am, I'm scared I am destined to forever be just that. Liquified. I am putty in her tiny little hands... I really hope she never asks for a pony, because that shit will be roaming our back yard within hours.

Back to the story.

They told us they had to take Mabel, but they let us hold her and be with her for a few minutes beforehand. Watching them walk away was wretched, but I was focused on Jenna and we were sharing the awe of the day.

First Family Photo.

Mabel was with the Special Care Unit, but they insisted she was doing better and would be back soon. The main parts of Jenna's business were done, but when Laura and the residents checked to see if the bleeding was subsiding, there was no clotting, and Jenna's uterus was tightening and firming up there was more blood than they liked to see. Every five to ten minutes they would come back and check again. They tried three different medicines, but just about every third check there was a significant amount of bleeding. It just wasn't stopping and eventually they gave her half an hour to stop bleeding before she had to go to the operating room. During this time Laura did an amazing job at handling our distress. She was honest, but positive and supportive. A new handful of residents were on our case and they couldn't figure it out. Dr. Morningstar was back to take over.

A brief ray of light allowed me to take Danielle (Jenna's sister, who, along with their dad, was there for the long haul) to the Special Care Unit to visit Mabel. Once we were there, the next best surprise allowed us to take her back to the room where Jenna was able to feed her and spend some time before she had to go in for surgery.

This is where the story could get really sad and scary and I could tell you about the feelings of helplessness and terror, but I won't. So many thing could go wrong, and a lot did. Mabel struggled to regulate her temperature. There was a 24 hour period of potential blood transfusion that stuck with each of us. I didn't have any news about or from Jenna for way too long, but eventually and sooner than later, we were in our recovery room as a family. Dr. Morningstar had found a floating piece of placenta hanging out stealing Jenna's blood. It was removed and Jenna was in recovery. Mabel needed some formula and a heat lamp and she was good to go. If you count our trip Wednesday, Jenna was in labor for around 34 hours. I don't. I count the trip in Thursday morning, which still added up to a long 15.5 hours. (Authors Note: Reading this part five years later made me squirm. Jenna did the work, I was her support. It all hurt, it was all part of it, it all counts. Sorry about that. - TC) None of which moved more slowly than when they took Mabel and Jenna away and the clock stopped.

In retrospect, the day flew by. It just kept happening and there wasn't any time to think about anything but taking care of Jenna and hoping for the best. Jenna's pain, Mabel's struggle, my fear and anxiety  paid off in spades (never understood what that saying meant). Both Jenna and Mabel were very closely monitored. Jenna had lost a lot of blood and they were worried that might effect her milk coming in. I went back and forth fetching food, drinks and whatever else we needed for the next two days. I saw a dozen new moms in their hospital gowns pushing their screaming babies through the hall. By the 11th hour in our room, my wife was in her yoga pants and my daughter was calmly feeding and barely shedding a tear.

They kept checking Jenna's blood counts and bleeding. It was better than anyone could have hoped for. When she asked about a shower or getting out of bed they looked at her like she was crazy. They warned her of becoming light headed, doing too much, and kept asking how much pain she was in. We cruelly mocked them as Jenna did jumping jacks in the shower... just kidding. But she did shower, she did walk around, Mabel regulated the shit out of her temperature, and we won the award for breast feeding on the floor. (I use the term we loosely, of course, but I doubt they could have done so well if I hadn't made such good fruit punch in the nurses kitchen juice machine.)

Picgtured: Regulating Temperature
First outfit competition: Winner - Katie and Ben

If you're going to have a baby anywhere in this world, I highly suggest you come to Rochester and choose Highland Hospital. We ended up with five different nurses. None better than Laura (who stayed with Jenna throughout the entire operating room procedure even though her shift ended an hour beforehand), Ann (who, like I said, was the perfect way to start our birthing experience) and Becky (our last nurse whose friendly smile, vigilant nonchalance, and casual explanations made the last day in the hospital feel like a hotel stay).

We could argue the semantics of it, but I know, without a doubt, that within the walls of that hospital Jenna and I each became different people. Better people. We no longer had to speak to a belly, Mabel was with us and we were a family. I almost just typed I wouldn't have had it any other way, but that's ridiculous. I would have loved to avoid all of the speed bumps we encountered, but that wasn't the case and we got through it. We got through it stronger than we went into it and we got through it together. Just like we will for the rest of our lives as a family. Jenna, Mabel, Thomas and even Daisy... and if you're still reading this, you too. Anyone who makes it through this much of my rambling must love us enough to be family and we thank you. Thanks for letting me share this story and thank you for being part of our lives... and Mabel, whenever you read this, ten, fifteen, twenty years from now, I just want to say Hi Mabel, it's your dad. I love you.

Nothing better.